Quick Tips to Defeat Perfectionism

With the many different inherent personalities in the world, one of the strongest, I believe is the perfectionist. I’m a little biased though, because I am one of them, or at least a “recovering” perfectionist. When people meet “one of us” they usually chalk it up to us being a little odd, strange or OCD. However, I think it goes a lot deeper than that.

Perfectionism, by Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is, “the doctrine that the perfection of moral character constitutes a person’s highest good”. This really attests to how the perfectionist feels. They not only hold themselves to this standard but also everyone in their life. They give off this attitude, you can almost smell it, that says, “I am better than you because I will do this flawlessly. If you want my approval you will do it that way too”. Only you can’t, and others shouldn’t hold you to this bar. 

The root of this trait in some of our personalities, I believe, comes from our childhood. Yes.

Did you have a parent who told you that you weren’t good enough, fast enough or smart enough? Did they threaten you with some sort of a punishment if you didn’t get an “A” in school? It’s this performance based parenting and loving that I think really creates this feeling of insecurity within us. So we long for that love and acceptance that came from being “perfect”. So we keep striving to earn that “love” and acceptance.

The fact is the striving to be the; perfect wife, mother, student, teacher, employee, friend… it’s impossible. And to hold yourself and others to this standard is not only unfair but it’s exhausting and impossible. 

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