WHY I HATE CRITICISM

It’s a fact of life; people are going to either give you positive or negative feedback. They might do it in a helpful way or in a more destructive fashion. It could be your boss, co-workers, friends or family. But the truth is, receiving criticism isn’t going to go away.

For me personally, I think I’ve always had a really hard time with criticism, both constructive and destructive. But when someone gives me the impression that I didn’t do a good job, or my idea was substandard, I almost feel defensive. How dare you tell me I didn’t work hard enough? How do you know what I put into this? It’s like I need to defend myself, my work. They could have told me I did something 99% correctly, but for some reason I don’t see that, my focus goes to the 1% that they are unpleased with. Know the feeling? 

I think this starts in childhood. We had a parent or adult figure in our lives that told us what we were doing wasn’t good enough…our grades weren’t perfect, our hair looked funny, or we didn’t do as well in sports as our peers. Then when we grow up, this voice doesn’t stop in our heads… it begs us to listen saying, “They weren’t too pleased…you screwed up again…”. And I don’t think I’m alone in this. Far too many of us live with that critical spirit and tone in our lives.

Nine times out of ten, our bosses, and family, and friends aren’t being critical of us. They aren’t trying to be destructive, they are trying to help. But when we hear them through the lens of our own hurt, our own past, we miss the message they are sending. Thus, it makes us defensive and appear wounded and snippy. I don’t think that is our intention. Today, and every day, let’s take some steps toward recovering our minds, silencing the negative voices, and hearing what our critics are really saying.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “WHY I HATE CRITICISM

  1. I am a 31year old man, and I can relate to this 100%, and personally I’m fed up with it, I want change, and this inner negative pessimistic life style I have doesn’t feel like it’s myself. I am 99% of the time I am thinking that I am going to misunderstand somebody’s criticism. it’s effected my entire social life from both the social media, and the real world. it’s reached to the point of paranoia.

    Like

    1. I’m glad you can relate but sorry it’s something you experience too, Ryan. But what I’ve found works for me is to take a step back from the situation and to not view the critiques as personal attacks but rather a different viewpoint someone has. When I look at it less personally I feel I have more peace. Hope that helps. 🙂

      Like

      1. the good part from all of this is my awareness, and probably coaching and therapy. its quite easy for me to read to myself that I should try and take it less personally, and its another thing to put it into action. thank you for the advice

        Like

      2. Absolutely. I know it’s easier said than done, I’m still working on it, though it’s gotten easier. I find that if I do some positive self talk about the situation and ask myself why it bothers me, I usually realize I’m projecting ideas that aren’t real. If you are looking for a coach, feel free to send me an email: christinabennett.me@icloud.com. I would love to help more.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s