So when we decided to have a baby, we figured it would no doubt be a lot of work and a big change. Like any “good” parent would, we went to childcare classes at the hospital. Of course, that should have been a wealth of information, helping new parents to figure out their new bundle of joy. We were in for a real surprise…
–Babies will only cry when they need something. Attending to those needs will make them less fussy.
Haha! This couldn’t have been more wrong. I remember the third night being home with my husband and baby and wondering what was going on with our child. We changed him, burped him, fed him, and yet he was wailing. “What haven’t we done??” Greg uttered. And so, we put him in his napper and waited and let him cry. Within ten minutes, he was asleep. It was then we realized, that sometimes babies are just little people and they cry. As long as their needs are met and they are checked on, let them cry and learn to soothe.
-Babies should sleep in the parent’s room for the first few weeks to a month.
This we tried as well the first few nights. We tried a large bassinet. Neither worked. First, we found that our baby really liked feeling cozy and not having room to move around in the bassinet. So we found a napper that vibrates and is about the size of a car seat, which he loved. I also found that having the baby in the same room as us, made me more on edge because any snort, coo or cry, made me turn my head. Today, there are such great baby monitors that have cameras and intercom systems. So we took our boy into his room, have the camera pointed on him. This also made me feel more normal. I’m still able to be with my spouse in the other room and have a healthy separation from our little guy, without compromising his needs.
-The best way to feed your baby, is breastfeeding directly.
Well that’s all fine and dandy, assuming your baby will nurse. Some babies, like mine, didn’t want to and would only take a bottle. So instead, we decided to pump instead rather than continue on a road that wasn’t going to work. I don’t feel like I bond any less with my son because I use a bottle, he bonds with whomever is feeding him. At the hospital you will be pressured to constantly try to breastfeed, but do what works for you and your child. It’s the best that you can do and what works that is best, not what the pushy lacation consultants say, they aren’t the parents of your baby.
-It’s best to stay home with your child for a while, they need their parents at first, all the time.
It’s all about balance and moderation. I admitted to myself after the first week post partum, that I could not stay at home all the time with my baby. I just could not. I needed to work, to get out with my husband, and to feel more human again. There should be no shame nor stigma if a mom wants to work, to get back to her routine or to use help. Having help and others watch my son was what prevented me from losing my mind. Not only is it great for your child’s family because they get to interact with him but it’s good for your child too.
Learn your baby over time, and know that what works for your family and keeps your baby healthy… that’s what’s best.