Personal Development

Help for the Judgmental

**For those that probably get judgmental from time to time… ;)**

I was sitting in traffic and I thought, why do people still smoke?
I was getting my hair done at the salon I thought, who dyes their hair to match the rainbow?
I read a memoir and I wondered how people can be so self-righteous?
I watched my peers and I thought how can someone be rude?
I saw something done by a relative that I thought was totally weird, I asked why?

Maybe you have too. I became acutely aware of just how much we subconsciously judge or measure others in our minds, DAILY. We don’t have to say a word; our eye rolls, thoughts, gestures and mannerisms say it all. Of course we all have opinions and thoughts, but we don’t need to spend more precious time thinking about or verbalizing them. The more time we give a thought, the longer we entertain it, the longer it takes up valuable real estate in our minds.

I wonder if half the time we can’t sleep at night, are unhappy, or just plain miserable sometimes, is because we devote all our energy toward nit-picking at others when we really should focus on our own lives. Sometimes those who tend to have a perfectionist attitude like myself, we are also classic nit-pickers. And that same talent that can be helpful when fixing a problem, can also become a judgmental tone that takes control and can ruin relationships and make us come across as crass and uncaring — even though we may not be at all. I think many times poking at another person’s flaw or difference, somehow makes us feel better. Maybe it’s because we are secretly insecure with ourselves, but pointing out something in another that we don’t struggle with, it brings us a sick sense of comfort, like I have my crap together in my life.

So maybe tomorrow in traffic, we ignore the smoking habits… ignore the rainbow hair, the books we didn’t relate to, the rudeness, and the weirdness. Maybe we focus on the sun shining in traffic, the hairdo we just got, the books we love, and all the kindhearted people there are in the world. Just maybe, that would be a better use of our time. I know I’m going to try.

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