If we’re being real, we all lie to people in our lives more than we realize.
- We say that we can go to a meeting, when we really don’t want to.
- We offer services and help to friends when we know we really can’t.
- Sometimes we say we think our friend or family member has a great idea, when we think it’s horrible.
As women, as moms, we do a lot of “white lying”, trying to please other people.
Well you say, wait, that’s not really lying… I’m just protecting someone’s feelings.
Whatever the reason may be, if we aren’t being honest with others, we aren’t really being honest with ourselves.
Let me explain.
We want to make everyone happy. We want to avoid confrontation, and we desperately want to be liked and accepted. So that desire to feel comfort and conflict-free makes us sign up for obligations that we have no business or time to do/fulfill. It may just be something you don’t want to do. Later on, we become resentful at those with whom we’ve set up said obligation with. Because all we wanted was to say, “no” but because we didn’t do that we are now rotting inside and feel horrible.
Instead of committing to things we can’t commit to, or telling others what we know will make them feel good, we have to start being more proactive. We have to protect ourselves and say no.
There’s nice ways to do it, but to fear others responses to our boundaries, just isn’t an acceptable excuse anymore.
Because if we are being honest, we haven’t been being honest with ourselves. And that’s just about the worst feeling of all.