Business, Passion

Some Things Cannot Be Taught

There are many skills and traits that I think people can take the time to learn: patience, honesty, and time management. Arguably, there are other traits that I don’t think can be taught and one of them is “caring”.

What I mean by “caring” is you can’t cause someone to one day care. If you are working a job and on a team and a member just has a very casual attitude, you can’t really cause them to put forth effort or care about the outcomes of the team. You can try your best to motivate them or inspire them, but truly “caring” about something means that it matters to you, and that can only come from that team member.

In practical application, many companies and teams fall a part because there was someone on that team “poisoning their well.” It doesn’t take too long to spot these people, many times they aren’t even bad or aren’t aware of what they are doing. They might make snippy remarks, joke about the bosses behind their backs, or just do their jobs in a lackadaisical fashion. But I believe the reason that these workers do poorly is because they have a general lack of care about the outcomes of the team. They maybe don’t see themselves staying long term, they don’t want to be there in the first place, or they have less than satisfactory skills for their role.

When team members don’t care, it’s contagious and can cause others to feel the same way. It’s very hard to make progress when you have these workers in your midst. When you’re looking to expand your team, look for “caring”. Look for the person who’s engaged and interested, not “checked out”. It’s so critical to find the people that want to be there, that want to be on your team and take the organization to new levels.

Look for the one that cares, because that trait — is unteachable.

photo credit: https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=k%2fVQxDmO&id=1432FB7B80E3DDDB722F2ABF80BFB80BBB2D00CB&q=caring&simid=608044444267908865&selectedIndex=8&ajaxhist=0

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Awareness, Passion, Personal Development

Why We Can’t Quit Netflix

We’ve all been there… whether it’s Hulu, Netflix, or buying a full series on Amazon Prime, we just love our series. There’s something so addicting about following a crime show or a major drama all the way through to the point where you think you almost know the characters. It can be the same with books, the Twilight trilogy the Harry Potter series. We form attachments to these story lines and beg for more.

Why is it, that we love our series so much? Is it the connection to the story lines, interesting plot twists? Or could it be something more… something like escapism? I don’t think it’s intentional, but sometimes we really crave a fantasy. Life can be hard, it can be monotonous and even though we are adults, we all have that inner child that would like to live in a “Peter Pan Neverland” world, one where anything is possible. As an adult, in our own ways, our addictions to TV series are our way to escape our regular, mundane lives. We can be detectives, royalty, or survivors on a lost island conquering whatever feats may come our way.

When the series ends, or the book is over, it many times feels troubling or like a let-down. It’s as if closing those last few pages, or watching the series finale means that our fantasy is over, and it “wakes” us up. We get out of the dream-like slumber, the comatose state we were in, and realize we are back to the “real world”. Back to the kids, the obligations, the dishes…life. I think that’s the real reason why people watch Netflix and get lost in series.

I don’t think people intentionally choose to waste time watching TV or reading fiction books. I think it’s a way of dealing and maybe even hiding from pain and the world. As long as you’re in a fictional world, escaping it all, you aren’t dealing with real life or living out your own dreams and goals. You can mask pain, or unfulfilled dreams with fiction and live vicariously through characters, those that aren’t real.

So, where do we go from here? Do we stop watching the series we love? Stop reading fairy tales? I don’t think so. I think the mind does some of it’s best work when it can dream and go on imaginary trips. I think there is value in the fantasy world, and room for creativity. But I do think we need to be aware of what we are doing and realize that escaping forever isn’t okay.

Instead of clamming up and shutting out the world incessantly, I believe we should spend more time creating our own dreams, reaching our own goals, making our own imaginary ideas come to life. And I think we need to stop being afraid of doing those things that we only watch on TV. Whether it’s to travel to a place we have never been, taking on a new sport, or investing in a relationship we’re afraid to dapple in…we should stop fearing and start living. We should aim to create lives that we don’t feel the need to constantly escape from, and we should be honest with ourselves about why we feel the need to do so.

 

 

 

 

photo credit: https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=zPFsRrX0&id=970834A46A50132B6922DC9D706F8EE5B99B4E2D&q=netflix&simid=608055976242972779&selectedIndex=1&ajaxhist=0.

overcoming, Passion, Personal Development, Recovery, Self Help

10,000 Hours…

If you’re anything like me, a recovering perfectionist, you get really annoyed when you can’t do something well, naturally. I remember it back in school. I was a natural academic but not naturally athletic. I would get very annoyed and frustrated when I couldn’t play baseball in gym class or shoot hoops flawlessly like the jocks. Who knows why, but many of us have this idea that was carried with us throughout school and adulthood, that most skills come naturally and if they don’t, that there’s something inherently wrong with us. I’d accredit this idea to our upbringing by parents who expected perfection and rewarded us based on this “accomplishment” system…but I digress. We think skills, even those we are gifted with, come to us naturally, as if it doesn’t take hours of sweat and toil to make us “great”.

We all have some natural skill or aptitude in something; stunning business acumen, sports, or music. And many times we feel that that innate natural ability is all that will carry us into success. But we forget a huge component to making it to that genius or success level in our talent. Practice.

It seems so boring yet so rehearsed. Practice.  You heard it in school, over and over, “practice makes perfect”. Is there actually something to that phrase or is it just bologna? According to Malcolm Gladwell, there’s a magic number to reaching the mastery level in any skill. 10,000 hours. It takes 10,000 hours of practice doing something to become an expert. 10,000 hours of speaking, writing, singing, marketing…etc. And I think we forget this main ingredient when we pursue our natural gifts. Because they are so natural to us, we feel almost as if becoming “great” in it should just come, well, naturally. But that’s very deceiving. Just because something comes natural to us, doesn’t mean it doesn’t or won’t require practice. It seems so obvious that effort would be a necessary ingredient for success but it’s so easily overlooked, probably because it’s so simple… not easy, but simple.

I remember as a new working person in the professional world, being yet again annoyed that I wasn’t at the level of my superiors. But yet again, it’s practice, it’s time. Of course those that have been in the business world for twenty years have an edge over someone who has been alive twenty years… it seems so clear that it takes time and rehearsal to hone in on our skills to achieve mastery.

So if you are gifted want to be a “great” writer, write. You want to be a great business person, put in the time prospecting. Don’t get discouraged that it takes time, that it requires practice. That’s why we had band practice, track practice, etc. We even called it “practice” in school, and I don’t think that was a mistake.

Keep practicing, don’t despise the process. When we see the greatness of others exhibited, we don’t see the hours of toil, of failure, we only see the end product. But it took them also, 10,000 hours…

Put in the time to become a master.

 

 

photocredit: http://kayleadershipacademy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/10K-where-to-apply.jpg.

Passion, Personal Development, Recovery, Self Help

STOP HELPING OTHERS WHO DON’T WANT IT

Not an overly creative title, but you get the point. Have you ever tried to walk a dog, and they just didn’t want to go. Every inch you went, you pulled on that leash, willing for that stubborn hound to move, and he just wouldn’t budge? Well, we’ve all had that moment with an animal, but what about with other people?

Have you tried helping someone get a job, or get out of debt, or gave them a piece of marital advice, and they just blew you off? They acted like they might be listening, but the whole time they did, their heart was just not in what nuggets of wisdom you were sharing. I’ve done that many times, and then felt insulted that my advice wasn’t heeded or help not welcomed. Why won’t they just listen? I’ve been through this before, what I’m saying makes perfect sense…

And that all might be true. What you’re saying and explaining might be spot on. But there’s many different reasons why others just might not act on your advice.

1. They may not be ready to hear it.
Sometimes other people are going through circumstances that make them impervious to what you’re saying. They hear your words but it makes no connection with their heart. They simply are not ready.

2. They just don’t care.
Not all people are motivated and want to be better. Let’s just admit it. Sometimes mediocrity is the goal, and self-improvement, well… why bother?

3. They feel ashamed listening to your advice.
It can be intimidating to listen to someone on their “high horse” talk about how they figured something out while this other person is learning. It can be humbling. It’s not that they don’t want your advice, but it’s just hard to hear.

Whatever the reason, stop casting your pearls of wisdom to those that don’t seek you out. If someone wants to change, they’ll have the initiative to start and make the first move. But handing out help, when it’s not wanted is a waste of your time and efforts. Use those efforts for those that value your perspective and want to win.

Female Entrepreneurs, Growth, Life Balance, Passion, Uncategorized, Work Freedom

The Importance of Passion

My best friend had a cliche phrase that she would use sometimes; many of you are familiar with it. “Follow your heart.” As a child, I remember hearing my mother say “follow your heart, sweetie”. These phrases always sounded a little foolish to me, because the real world doesn’t care much about your passion… or do they?

When you operate in your gifts and talents, you bring an extra dose of energy and pzazz,–there’s a spring in your step, a note in your song. Not only are you happier and more joyful, but your customers take notice, as do your boss and co-workers. Everyone notices a difference. It’s what makes a ho-hum day, not so ordinary. You’ll be willing to work late, and arrive early.

So if you have all this extra “go-get ’em” when you are operating in your passions, than why wouldn’t your boss care? If you will work harder and more effectively, you’ll be a better employee. If your passionate about your family, you’ll be a better parent, a better spouse. It spills into other areas of our lives, like a new perfume others can tell.

So that phrase “follow your heart”, isn’t so crazy after all.